George Bush: "Condoleeza! Nice to see you. What's happening?"
Condoleeza Rice: "Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China."
George: "Great. Lay it on me."
Condoleeza: "'Hu is the new leader of China."
George: "That's what I want to know."
Condoleeza: "That's what I'm telling you."
George: "That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes."
George: "I mean the fellow's name."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The guy in China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The new leader of China."
Condoleeza: "Hu."
George: "The Chinaman!"
Condoleeza: "Hu is leading China."
George: "Now whaddya' asking me for?"
Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu is leading China."
George: "Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?"
Condoleeza: "That's the man's name."
George: "That's whose name?"
Condoleeza: "Yes."
George: "Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East."
Condoleeza: "That's correct."
George: "Then who is in China?"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir is in China?"
Condoleeza: "No, sir."
George: "Then who is?"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Yassir?"
Condoleeza: "No, sir."
George: "Look, Condoleeza. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone."
Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
George: "No, thanks."
Condoleeza: "You want Kofi?"
George: "No."
Condoleeza: "You don't want Kofi."
George: "No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N."
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N."
Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
George: "Milk! Will you please make the call?"
Condoleeza: "And call who?"
George: "Who is the guy at the U.N?"
Condoleeza: "Hu is the guy in China."
George: "Will you stay out of China?!"
Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
George: "And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N."
Condoleeza: "Kofi."
George: "All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone."

Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.

What does it mean that success is as dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder or down it,
your position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground,
you will always keep your balance.

What does it mean that hope is as hollow as fear?
Hope and fear are both phantoms
that arise from thinking of the self.
When we don't see the self as self,
what do we have to fear?

See the world as your self.
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the world as your self;
then you can care for all things.

Berdasarkan sebuah survey, beberapa penyakit yang
> sering dan biasanya dialami oleh wanita....
>
> 1. Nangisuitis
> Akibat terlalu sensitif. Gejalanya bibir cemberut,
> mata kedip-kedip.
> Efek sampingnya mata bengkak, saputangan banjir,
> hidung meler, bawaannya ngurung diri atau terkena
> penyakit Curhatitis A.
> Penyakit ini bisa diobati dengan obat Tegaridol, OBH
> (Obat Berhati
> Hamba).
>
> 2. Curhatitis
> Bawaannya pengen nyerocos, Efek samping rahasia
> orang bisa bocor,
> terkena Nangisuitis, Penyakit ini bisa diarahkan
> positif jika ia bercuhatitisnya ke orang yang tepat,
> apalagi sama Tuhan.
>
> 3. Shooping Syndrome
> Gejalanya pengen jalan mulu, mata melotot, Efek
> sampingnya lidah ngiler,
> mulut nganga, dompet jadi tipis. Jika sudah masuk
> stadium 4 (parah
> banget) dompet cowoknya ikut tipis. Coba minum
> hematcold atau tablet PD
> (Pengendalian Diri).
>
> 4. Cerewetisme
> Lebih parah dari Curhatitis B, tidak mengandung
> titik koma. Efek samping
> muncrat, telinga tetangga budek, dada cowoknya bisa
> jadi lebih halus
> karena sering mengelus. Lebih cepat makan pil dengar
> dan minum tablet
> bicara lebih diperlambat.
>
> 5. Lamanian Dandanitositis
> Pengennya diem depan cermin. Tangan kiri gatel-gatel
> pengen pegang
> sisir, tangan kanan kram-kram pengen teplok-teplok
> pipi pake bedak. Efek
> samping: menor, telat, cowoknya berkarat, gak
> kebagian makanan. Minum
> segera Sari Bawak (Bagi Waktu) dan Taperi (tambah
> percaya diri). Buat
> cowok minum Toleransikipil 230 sendok sehari
> sesudah dan sebelum mandi.
>
> 6. Cemburunotomy
> Gejala muka lonjong, tangan mengepal, alis menukik.
> Coba cegah dengan obat sirup prasangka baik tiga
> sendok sehari, Pil
> pengertian dan tablet selidiki dahulu.
>
> 7. Ngambekilation
> Gejala hampir sama dengan Cemburubotomy. Minum
> Sabaron dan
> Bersyukurinis.
>

Di sebuah perusahaan rel kereta api ada
seorang
pegawai, namanya
Nick. Dia
sangat rajin bekerja, dan sangat
bertanggung-
jawab,tetapi dia
mempunyai satu
kekurangan,yaitu dia tidak mempunyai
harapan
apapun terhadap
hidupnya, dia
melihat dunia ini dengan pandangan
tanpa harapan
sama sekali.

Pada suatu hari semua karyawan
bergegas untuk
merayakan ulang tahun
boss
mereka, semuanya pergi dengan cepat
sekali.
Yang paling tidak sengaja
adalah, Nick terkunci di sebuah mobil
pengangkut
es yang belum sempat
dibetulkan.

Nick berteriak, memukul pintu dengan
keras,semua orang di kantor
sudah pergi
merayakan ulang tahun bosnya,maka tid
ak ada
yang mendengarnya.
Tangannya
sudah merah kebengkak2an memukul
pintu mobil
itu, suaranya sudah
serak
akibat berteriak terus, tetapi tetap tidak
ada orang
yang
mempedulikannya,
akhirnya dia duduk di dalam sambil
menghelakan
nafas yang panjang.

Semakin dia berpikir semakin dia merasa
takut,
dalam hatinya dia
berpikir
dalam mobil pengangkut es suhunya
pasti di
bawah 0 derajat, kalau
dia tidak
segera keluar dari situ, pasti akan mati
kedinginan. Dia terpaksa
dengan
tangan yang gemetar, mencari secarik
kertas dan
sebuah bolpen,
menuliskan
surat wasiatnya.

Keesokkan harinya, semua karyawan pun
datang
bekerja. mereka membuka
pintu
mobil pengangkut es tersebut, dan sangat
terkejut
menemukan Nick yang
terbaring didalam. Mereka segera
mengantarkan
Nick untuk
ditolong,tetapi dia
sudah tidak bernyawa lagi. Tetapi yang
paling
mereka kagetkan adalah,
listrik mobil untuk menghidupkan mesin
itu tidak
dibuka, dalam mobil
yang
besar itu juga ad a cukup oksigen
untuknya, yang
paling mereka
herankan
adalah suhu dalam mobil itu hanya 28
derajat
saja.Tetapi Nick malah
mati
"kedinginan"!!

Nick bukanlah mati karena suhu dalam
mobil
terlalu rendah, dia mati
dalam
titik es di dalam hatinya.Dia sudah
menghakimi
dirinya sebuah
hukuman mati,
bagaimana dapat hidup terus?

Percaya pada diri sendiri adalah sebuah
perasaan
hati.

Orang yang mempunyai rasa percaya diri
tidak
akan langsung putus asa
begitu
saja, dia tidak akan langsung berubah
sedih
terhadap keadaan
hidupnya yang
jalan kurang lancar.

Tanyalah pada diri kita sendiri, apakah
kita sendiri
sering langsung
memutuskan bahwa kita tidak mampu
untuk
mengerjakan suatu hal,
sehingga kita
kehilangan banyak kesempatan untuk
menjadi
sukses?

Kehilangan banyak kesempatan untuk
belajar
mandiri? untuk jadi lebih
mengerti kehidupan ini?

Yang mempengaruhi semangat kamu
bukanlah
faktor-faktor dari
luar,melainkan
hati mu sendiri. Sebelum berusaha sudah
dikalahkan oleh diri kita
sendiri,
biarpun ada banyak bantuan yang tertuju
pada
dirimu tetap tidak akan
membantu...

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

2. Most people will be about as happy as they decide to be.

3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

5. Success stops when you do.

6. When your ship comes in. ... make sure you are willing to unload it.

7. You will never "have it all together."

8. Life is a journey ... not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy."

10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

11. I've learned that ultimately 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

15. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you have to say. Best friends listen to what you don't say!

16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.

18. Life is what's coming....not what was.

19. Success is getting up one more time.

20. Now is the most interesting time of all.

21. When things go wrong.....don't go with them.

22. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

23. God can mend all broken hearts. You just have to give Him all the pieces.

24. A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.

25. A best friend is like a four leaf clover ... hard to find, and lucky to have.

26. A friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart.

27. A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous.

28. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

29. Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace ... and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace.

30. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look back.

Not to scare you, but to make sure that you are aware. This was passed on by a police-woman who gives seminars and techniques for house wives, business women, executives. Many of the hotels cheat the customers this way. When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc, how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them. There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms or bathrooms or bedrooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it. So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at ?


CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:


Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (Someone seeing you from the other side).
So remember, every time you see a mirror, do the "fingernail test". It doesn't cost you anything. It is simple to do. This is a really good thing to do. The reason there is a gap on a real mirror, is because silver is on the back of the mirror UNDER the glass. Whereas with a 2-way mirror, the silver is on the surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel rooms. May be someone's watching.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!

Yang kuingini dari kalian adalah kerja-kerja tanpa bicara. itu bisa dilakukan oleh orang yang mengerti dan bekerja karena 4JJI. Bak binatang rayap yang terus menerus menggerogot, tanpa kata-kata. Ia berjalan di atas bumi. Ia lakukan perubahan dan pergantian tapi bumi tuli terhadap kerja-kerja rayap."(Al-Fathur Rabbani/36-37)

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.


The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board:
"Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "Which chair?"

One day, a poor boy named Howard Kelly, was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught ; her attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

liat poto ya...
4 orang dengan 2 lokasi yg berbeda
tapi gaya dan posisi yang sama...

first of all